We're Back Jack

After some time away Brian T. and I have felt the need for a comeback. Not like there was much to walk away from before, but everything has to start from somewhere. So after some discussion and contemplation we have both felt that the best approach to this blog would be if we went strictly retro. It isn't that we are against next gen gaming or anything like that, we just know that we do not have the resources to write reviews and give opinions on new releases. By the time we get our hands on a new game, play it, and review it; it is about 2 to 3 weeks after 100's of reviews of that same game have been written. At that point who would really want to read what we have to say, unless you just feel that we are amazing at what we have to say. That is why we think a retro blog is our best bet. Even though the games we will be talking about have long come and gone, they still hold that place in gaming history and for that should never be forgotten. Plus when it comes to retro gaming it is sometimes hard to find a game worth taking the time to play, so hopefully this blog can help with that matter.

Just in case anyone has that burning desire to know what happened and why we left the blog for almost a year, I will tell you. In December there was a major overhaul so to speak at the Mac (short for Maciano's where we work). Since then it has been continuing to get overhauled, but at least now it is a little more manageable. Brian T. has since moved back to Chicago. I guess to resume working as a male prostitute. He said that suburb cum just never tasted the same as it did back home. What that means I don't know but I'll just leave that one for you to ponder. Basically life just got in the way. We never stopped playing video games, its just that playing video games in the free time we had was more important then writing about video games. No offense to all 3 of our followers. Either way we have agreed to revisit this side project of ours and revamp it hopefully making it better than it was before.

-Brian R.

Lost and Found Again

As of late I have been struggling to find a good topic to blog about. One reason is because we are in the first quarter of the year and all of the big titles were just released for the holiday season. I will say that there are some big titles coming out in the next couple of months such as FFXIII, SSFIV, and Heavy Rain next week; but these last few months have been rather slow, at least for me. So I found this awesome website called Racketboy, which is a retro game site. Going through there must haves and undiscovered gems section for the Dreamcast I found a game called Cannon Spike. Basically it is a shoot-em-up that uses Capcom characters. I haven’t played it yet but I am soon and will review it then. Getting back on track, my purpose for this entry is simple and I will get to the point soon enough.

Basically after I saw that game on Racketboy I went to go and download the ROM. FYI if you have a Dreamcast that was built before October of 1999 you can download any ROM off of the internet, burn it to a CD-R, and put it in your Dreamcast and play it. If you have a console with a later build date all you need is a boot disk to play the game, which can be downloaded at the same site that you get the ROMs from. Anyhow as I scrolling through all of the games for the Dreamcast I kept seeing game after game that looks awesome as hell. And I thought to myself here I am complaining that I have nothing to play, yet there is a whole library of games for the Dreamcast that I have access to.

Long story short I went on a downloading spree and grabbed about 10 new games to try out for the Dreamcast. Unfortunately I did not get any blank CD-R’s until yesterday so I have not had an opportunity to play any of them. But the time is coming soon enough. So the point of everything is this. I was forced to go through my collection of games to find something to play because I wanted to play a game that had real purpose other than just killing people like in Modern Warfare. After doing so I was more than excited. You will be surprised if you went through your collection and realized how many games you probably have that you never finished, or maybe never played because it is part of a retro collection.

So what did I find? A fighter for the Saturn that I never played that Brian T. let me borrow, Knights of the Old Republic for the original Xbox that I started a long time ago and never finished, a booklet full of various Dreamcast games that I had downloaded and burned but never played, and Army of Two for the 360, which I borrowed from someone a long time ago and haven’t played yet. I guess it is just one of those out of sight out of mind things, because I keep all of my games in a cabinet, and usually the ones I am not playing are buried in the back behind the couple that I am playing and my controllers. What I need to do is convince my wife to let me build some media shelving so that way I can have everything out on display, which will hopefully keep it from going unforgotten. Take the time though to go through your collection of games and let me know if you find anything that you forgot about or never even finished or never played for that matter.

-Brian R.

Is it Gay to Get a Blow J From Another Man

You would think that with the advancement in today’s technology, somebody would have invented an authentic virtual reality experience that simulates another man giving you, the player, an intense blowjob. Many of you may remember in the 90’s when rumble vests hit the market. These vests would basically just vibrate in the same way that controllers do today, but at the time, the vests were marketed as authentic accessories that could simulate every punch taken in Mortal Kombat and every cumshot to the chest taken in the hard to find N64 classic “Cumshot City: Wet and Wild”.



What I, Brian Rossi, would like to know is…when are we going to get a next-gen update that will finally allow me to live my true gaming fantasy of getting a sick, nasty BJ from another man? Do we really need another Halo or Madden game on the market when we don’t have a single homoerotic oral sex simulator? No. Let’s get it right people. You wanna fix the economy? Fix the housing/mortgage crisis in America? Do you want our soldiers out of Iraq? Call your local congressman and demand what all freedom-loving Americans want…a Wiiware download where you use your Wii remote as an anal or oral probe.
-Brian R.