You would think that with the advancement in today’s technology, somebody would have invented an authentic virtual reality experience that simulates another man giving you, the player, an intense blowjob. Many of you may remember in the 90’s when rumble vests hit the market. These vests would basically just vibrate in the same way that controllers do today, but at the time, the vests were marketed as authentic accessories that could simulate every punch taken in Mortal Kombat and every cumshot to the chest taken in the hard to find N64 classic “Cumshot City: Wet and Wild”.
What I, Brian Rossi, would like to know is…when are we going to get a next-gen update that will finally allow me to live my true gaming fantasy of getting a sick, nasty BJ from another man? Do we really need another Halo or Madden game on the market when we don’t have a single homoerotic oral sex simulator? No. Let’s get it right people. You wanna fix the economy? Fix the housing/mortgage crisis in America? Do you want our soldiers out of Iraq? Call your local congressman and demand what all freedom-loving Americans want…a Wiiware download where you use your Wii remote as an anal or oral probe.
-Brian R.
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